Yes, he still loves her
Yes, he still cares about her.
Yes, he still thinks about her.
And yes, he knows he can’t have her.
He made one mistake that changed things.The days where the sun was shining bright his world was bleak.The pain on his chest was too heavy to breath.He was trying to remember all the feelings lost somewhere in his world of chaos.There were days when he thought about a time when they would’ve been happy with what they were,if only that one mistake was never made.
He wished if only he could turn back time to make things right.So that they could laugh and talk again the way they used too.So they could come up with new inside jokes together and create new memories.But the reality is different now.They are standing on different mountains fighting the same battle alone.
First love can never be forgotten so how could he? He keeps lying to his heart.He can’t stop the feelings that he has for her.His heart knows the truth all too well.It was never intended to be like this,the sleepless nights and restless days.Her presence still comforts him.Her smile is what makes his day.He can’t escape he can’t leave the feelings behind.
He sat on his favorite spot near the window.Where he would spend hours talking to her.This was a time when he realized the importance of moments.When he thought moments weren’t necessary until they were needed.He had nothing but this emptiness in his heart.He dwells in darkness having nothing to lose this time.He thought about ending things but that family photo hanging on the wall stopped him.
Life has its own way of working.The light shines to guide you when you least expect it.If love destroys you then it also saves you.It’s just matter of time you get to learn how to survive when you think you can’t. What’s done is done and past is past.You can’t blame yourself because it’s okay to make mistakes.It’s not how we make mistakes,but how we correct them that define us.
Moving on is difficult and when we talk about love it’s even harder.But the only way to let go and move on is to let it all flow.Let the memories cleanse you and heal you rather than haunt you.Because memories are not made to remorse.You have to get out there open up, live and learn,make mistakes, be stronger and start all over again.
Honest feelings and bad timings make the most painful combination.
What do you do when all your hope is gone and you are left with nothing?
When everything stops in you and pain gets unbearable.When falling apart is the only option.When everything seems absurd and it all hurts.Tell me what do you do?
I’m drowning in nothingness.I feel like that futile thing people throw when they are done taking advantage of it. I’ve no more strength to hold on.It’s getting harder and harder every passing day.
I was walking on the pavement.The streets were empty.The sky was still dark after the heavy rain.The cold breeze was blowing straight on my face.The ground glowed neon in the streetlights.I was walking with a mind with no destination.Everything was quiet just like the silence after the storm.I was alone and anticipated.
That day everything happened in a fraction of time.I saw big flashlights from afar and heard the sound of a loud thud.Nothing was a coincidence. Everything I was experiencing was meant to happen exactly how it was happening.The road was slippery because of the rain.The driver could do nothing about it.The sliver truck loosed it’s balance.The driver tried to turn the wheel but nothing happened. The truck swerved on to the pavement on which I was.I heard the sickening sound of shattering glass and twisting metal.I didn’t have enough time to act.Maybe everything was meant to be this way.
I remembered those jovial days when everything was bright.I had everything I wanted.Family and friends,laughter and peace.But as I grew up everything changed.People changed,I changed.I was tired of having to give up the only things in life I wanted.And it was then, I realized that you must kill a part of yourself to stay alive.I wish I didn’t have to give my love to all those people who didn’t deserve it.
I couldn’t move because it hurt.I was badly bleeding and a part of me knew that no one was coming to save me.I just laid there thinking how I stumbled off the lane.The night seemed darker than ever,moonless and silent.I felt the sense of fear,joy and grief all at once.Grief,shock,it affects people in strange ways.And in that moment you want to feel something-anything other than sadness.My vision started to blur I reluctantly blinked.In that very moment I finally saw my world falling apart and this time I had no courage to try to gather the mess.
I tried to breathe suck in all the air my lungs could carry and yet I felt empty.Not only my body but my soul was giving up too.My heart and mind collapsed,shutting all the emotions and feelings.How badly I need it all to stop abruptly.Every last inch of hope draining away.Lost in oblivion.Dark and silent, I found my freedom as I took my last breath.
We all have a story to tell…
The first article has nothing to do with this one.But still if you haven’t read here is the link https://jamilamurtaza6.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/a-girl-without-a-name