Stuck

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“You can’t run from the past.” Everyone would say,who have not even a slightest idea how does it actually feels.Because they don’t understand.You keep trying to take it all in until you start to suffocate yourself in a dark room which not feels like home anymore.You lose all the abilities, you are tired of all this anguish.It’s just like your life has come to an halt.

You know that mistake you did that you can’t get off your mind and it’s nearly been two years.You can’t seem to concentrate on anything, your life is constantly falling.The flashbacks comes unsolicited and you can’t breath.Your are out with your friends and you see or heard something related to it and you can’t negotiate.It’s like a lump on your throat and your night is ruined.

The voices are still echoing in your ear,screaming and laughing and you just cover your ear to stop it.You’re at your work and it doesn’t feel right and you’re vague about all your activities.You’ve walked down the road that you shouldn’t have.You feel depressed and you can’t help yourself.

You’ve changed since then and you’re not that person anymore.Your friendships are suffered and your kinship with your parents is unbearable.You life is tormented.It’s the time when you are trying to sleep but you are left staring at the ceiling.Your mind saying, “You are to blame for this.” or “What did you do? You shouldn’t have done that.”

You keep betraying yourself.You areΒ  living in chaos.You have always felt lost,you always tried to forget but you never figured it out how.You have this fear in you, this fear that you can’t specifically explain.You’re not getting any younger,that’s something you’re aware of.You know life won’t wait for you, and you know that it’s your responsibility to find how to get through this,how to move on.You have to think cause you don’t know what is in store for you.

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I’m here to tell you it’s okay.You’re not the only one, everyone goes through this phase.You’re not alone.I’m here to tell you to stand up for who you want to be and let go of the past.You never have to blame yourself, cause it’s not your fault.Not everyone will think the same, but it doesn’t matter.Listen to what your heart is telling you.It’s never too late for anyone.

Everything begins and ends in your mind.Breathe in the future and breathe out the past.You never have to be ashamed of yourself.You never have to apologize for being you and for the things that you know can make you jovial.Stop thinking too much.It’s never too late.

Dance like their is nothing to lose.Lose your body in that rhythm and forget everything.If you want to talk to someone, give a call to your friend.If your flat does not feel like home then make it.Start all over again.I promise it’ll be okay.Figure out exactly what you want and don’t stop until you get it.

There is a hunger in you.A fearlessness.You just buried it somewhere like most people do.Go out now! This life is wee.You need to catch it before it runs out of time.Stop blaming and betraying yourself.Stop being the person you’re not.
You don’t have to let that one mistake be the thing that defines you.
JUST LIVE WELL.

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8 thoughts on “Stuck

  1. Loved the ending line- You don’t have to let that one mistake be the thing that defines you. ❀
    Just one incident or one mistake doesn't define one. There is a lot that is needed to define oneself.
    You did a good job by posting this inspirational writing of yours. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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