This emptiness is travelling in all parts of me
So lost I feel, my hearts naive.
Unaware of what I want, and where I meant to be.
For what should I hope for
What’s between right and wrong?
Where to go what to choose?
All the questions and thoughts
Now drowns me in its depths.
This empty feeling makes me feel
Absurd and vulnerable.
Life seems to be so dark and vicious
And I think will I ever be loved
Just the way I am, because it’s difficult
to even for me to love myself.
This empty feeling makes me so scared.
Sometimes it surprises me that how unexpectedly my mind works. The moment of emptiness suddenly comes to me when I am totally normal and happy. It strikes me when I am with my friends or at night while I’m trying to sleep. It just leaves me in total darkness where I am unable to reach the light. It always makes me defenceless and desolate. I hate that feeling when I’m here, but I’m not. Like I should be grateful for all the things I have, But I’m not. There is nothing but emptiness and numbness that is left in me. But I won’t let it destroy me or take me away. So I decided I would fill the emptiness in me with the love of God and with my pen.