You know what fear feels like? or being in fear all the time feels like? It feels weird and sad because you can’t be able to do things that you want to do. It started with wee fears to big ones. I was afraid of so many things: sudden loud noises, clouds thundering, the lightning when rain was falling like cats and dogs, fireworks too. Yes, fireworks, I was not amazed by it I was afraid. Fear was in my way all the time, it stopped me from living those beautiful moments. The moments that made you realized how nature is so enthralling and exquisite.
Somedays, it made me angry about it. That why I was afraid of normal little things while others were not. Why I was not enjoying the heavy rain with thundering clouds and lightning. Why I couldn’t live a beautiful moment when colors danced in the sky. Fears controlled me. Having them was like not knowing peace at all, not knowing what it felt to be really alive.
It was just another day when I realized that I was not afraid of things or what may happen if I do this or that, I was afraid of life or more precisely I was afraid of living. Because to fear life is to deny living. Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. The progress of moving forward, to live life and to go naked to the world and be who you want to be. I don’t know how to explain what it felt like to be afraid all day and night.
Life: it’s happening beyond these four walls, beyond my knowledge. In all nooks and cranny. The moments of joy and tranquility does not come to you until you observe nature and comprehend the cycle of life. Life is all about perceiving, listening and hearing. If you are afraid how you will concentrate on the simple things? because fears take your attention and become your distraction, take your space and become your burden.
With time, I’ve learned to face things that used to leave me tired and tormented. And no, you can’t remove fear from your life. Not at all. It’s human nature. It will come with you wherever you go. Every day you have to cross the bridge you have made with your fears and only then you could seek the possibilities of living and breathing. You don’t let fear do things like making a decision or giving suggestions as well. Like Bethany Hamilton said: ” Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.”
Fear only screams STOP, that’s it. I always wanted to live a adventures life but fear was my enemy. So I let it go, my fears because I didn’t want to comprise my dreams and goals for something so fragile and worthless. So here I am, fighting my fears and never let it stop me from flying. AND SO SHOULD YOU. WE WILL FIGHT TOGETHER.
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
__ ROY T. BENNETT