“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”
― Michel de Montaigne
When I was young, I loved to watch those Disney movies where a princess was always saved by a prince. The prince would save the princess, marry her and they would live happily ever after in a huge castle. The End.
I being an innocent child, thought the world is supposed to work just like that. A prince more like a saviour, taking me away from everything that is bad. Whenever I was in affliction or was the victim of bullying when people were just, as usual, being cold-hearted and harsh, I used to control the hurt by consoling my self that one day I’ll be gone. My prince charming will come and save me and will take me away from cruel people. Until then, I just have to keep moving and survive alone.
I kept patience knowing a day will come when I will be the happiest girl, where I will be free. That one day I will be understood, loved and cared about. Someday someone will make me happy. I invested my trust in a stranger so much that I forgot about me. I was living for somebody else, I was not even actually living, I was just waiting for that miracle to happen quickly. I was waiting so all the burden and pain could be taken away.
Now I laugh remembering the thoughts and beliefs I had. Illogical and far from what the reality was. This world wasn’t even close to that world of mine where my dreams were breathing waiting for a light to enter so they could bloom and dance with grace. Not knowing the light was meant to be me.
Fairy tales are still fun. It made us believe in magic and power, Love and purity. But at times, it failed to tell us that we don’t need a prince charming to fight dragons to save us. We can be our own heroes too! When my world was threatened by the monsters of our world, I was jerked by my conscience, I was awake by the realization that no one is coming to save me. I alone have to fight the battle. Me against the monsters. Me against the world.
I was my own happiness, my burdens was a way to my freedom, my heart was a flower that needed to be protected and loved. My mind was the power I needed to control. Most importantly my battles were the realization that what it felt like to be alive. When I started to observe, seek and explore inside the deeper parts of me, I realized there was so much in me that needed to be heard. There was so much to explain, there was so much to do.
I became my own hero when I realized that nobody would come to save me. I was the one, who was meant to save myself. And so I did. -Jamila
She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword. _Atticus