Mystery

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I smiled watching his notification pop up. I love these once in a month moments.

“Why you keep doing that to yourself?” She asked.


“What?”
I asked.


“You know exactly what I’m saying. Okay, tell me one thing, what do you do when the person you love doesn’t love you back?”


I smiled and said, “You keep loving them. Knowing there is nothing you could do about it.” I sat near the tip of my bed.


“I don’t understand why you had to fall in love at the first place.”


“Love never comes with a choice. It not depends on you at all. It just happens. Love is like a disease. You don’t decide when to stop. You don’t get to make that choice.

 

 

You cannot force yourself  to fall in love with a certain person. In the same way, you can’t tell me to stop loving him. 

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Good Enough

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Shadows and mirrors
knows how to mislead her
Even the camera knows
how to deceive her.
She knows she is beautiful
but some days she can’t
make it clear and that’s
how she goes entangle in her thoughts.
Some days she’s not good enough even
for herself. At times, she’s not okay
with her sweet fine face
and the weights she has to carry.
Some days she’s not good enough
for her body that doesn’t deserve
all the hate and the pains.
So the next day when the sun shines
she will know, at that moment
what beauty feels like, when
a coffee mug in her hand
the sun making her skin glow
and her body feelin’ the warmth
she’ll recognize she is more than enough.

 

You have moments when you let your insecurities rule that takes away all the love you deserve. The truth is you are smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. Believe it and never let insecurity run your life.

Don’t allow someone or even yourself to make you feel like you’re not good enough.

Back to you

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I can’t tell my heart to shut up
But I don’t even want to listen

to what it says.
I am trying to disguise my love
in something I don’t even know.
Maybe friendship, ah-oh!

I know this time will pass soon
but until how am I supposed to
see that beautiful face in the crowd
and lie to myself I felt nothing.
And that I didn’t overwhelmed
myself in ecstasy.
Suddenly I’m in deluge of emotions
Should I break the news
that I am totally screwed?
Cause I can see you coming my way
with a smile that is a grenade!
I’m in this feedback loop

‘Cause I keep running back to you!

Empty

 

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This emptiness is travelling in all parts of me
So lost I feel, my hearts naive.
Unaware of what I want, and where I meant to be.
For what should I hope for 
What’s between right and wrong?
Where to go what to choose?
All the questions and thoughts
Now drowns me in its depths.
This empty feeling makes me feel
Absurd and vulnerable.
Life seems to be so dark and vicious 
And I think will I ever be loved
Just the way I am, because it’s difficult
to even for me to love myself.

This empty feeling makes me so scared.

 

Sometimes it surprises me that how unexpectedly my mind works. The moment of emptiness suddenly comes to me when I am totally normal and happy. It strikes me when I am with my friends or at night while I’m trying to sleep. It just leaves me in total darkness where I am unable to reach the light. It always makes me defenceless and desolate. I hate that feeling when I’m here, but I’m not. Like I should be grateful for all the things I have, But I’m not. There is nothing but emptiness and numbness that is left in me. But I won’t let it destroy me or take me away. So I decided I would fill the emptiness in me with the love of God and with my pen. 

Back in the Middle

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She is drowning in uncertainty 
Every effort fails there is no way to sail.
She glances at both the ends 
But no one familiar, things so subtle here
She moves along the path
expecting to come near the end of freedom
But the truth is, life always keep
bringing her back in the middle.

 

Ciao Adios

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Looking at the moon
underneath the stars
I didn’t say a word
but they understood
the beating of my heart.
He told me nothing
but I knew everything.

 

As I laid down
My heart did all the talking
Mind did all the thinking,
Of that very moment
when I met him.
I was at that point
Where I stopped dreaming,
stopped believing in love
surrounded by chaos inevitable

I can’t thank him enough
To give me my passion,
in which my heart burned.

I didn’t want to fail
In my eyes, so I
Brave enough freed by love.
As they say, true love never dies.
And this love will be here
till forever ends.
And I, with my delicate heart
Bid him my last goodbye,
From every thought, every memory,
Every moment, every hope.

I let him be, and I let him love,
Who he wants to love.
And with every success,
That comes in his way
Of all he did, And in all, he believes.
I will be smiling with pride.
Even the Universe cherishes and admires,

the love I always had, have, and will, for him.

 

Sometimes some love stories do not have a happy ending. You love someone and you can’t say it to them because there are certain things you don’t wanna mess with.
You fall into this one-sided love, accept that you won’t be able to have them in your life. It’s not easy but with time you comprehend that love is a greater force and it’s more than just an emotion. We move on and we know we’re gonna carry this love in our hearts forever.

As ELIF SHAFAK said in his book, The Forty Rules of Love:
“Where there is love, there is bound to be heartache.”

Delicate

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He came and my world flipped.
He said he was in love with me
And I so young, fall for him foolishly
I wasn’t thinking too much,
I longed for this kinda fairytale love!
I wish I could tell my 14-year-old self
Love wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

That’s when it hit me,
I realized how naive I had been
To think I had fallen for him.
He was never the one,
In course of my reality.
I think I just wanted someone
Who could fit the part.
And bring solace to my heart.

 

Suddenly I got lost in him,
And the things he said to me,
made me want to hear him more.
A desire to talk to him more.
How much I adored those moments
which now have faded into a place
I never would want to go.
I had my own love story.
Back then, I was proud to have one.

 

All of our needs and fantasies
We thought it could happen in reality.
But we got it all wrong.
We think it’s something to find out there,
A perfect match just like in fairy tales.
But love was never him.
And when now, I think about it
It makes me feel so dumb.

 

He said I was beautiful,
But he never told me how strong I was,
He never listened what my heart-felt,
like it didn’t matter to him at all.
He never tried to know me.
He just kept saying how much he loves me.
And it was not enough, I realized.

 

One year later:
She looked in the mirror
And she could see the most beautiful woman.
She turned her weakness into strengths
She was brave and full of love.
And this time,
She didn’t need anybody to tell her that.

 

We could never love someone
Until we learn
how to love ourselves.

 

Honestly, Love is delicate. Sometimes it’s different from the movies or books we read. Everyone has its own personal definition of love. When you really feel it, the world comes into focus. You have to be careful while deciding if you’re really in love with someone. Because I know that feeling when you are wrong about it. It hurts very much, and you completely fall apart. Listen to your heart and nothing else. It will guide you rightly.

As APRIL GREEN said: For me — falling in love is about meeting someone who helps me fall in love with myself.