Dear Diary

 

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I sit alone with my diary
He is on every part of my story.
I saw him with a girl
he was talking to her with lot of interest
I envy her cause she’s has his attention
I admit she is beautiful and lucky
Cause just look at her and me.
Do I really need to mention?
my heart beats 10 times faster
There is nothing subtle here
I love to welcome this sweet disaster.
I wonder if he knows that
he’s all I think about at night.
He is the only one I see in crowded streets
There is no way to make things right in my head.

 

I sit here alone writing a part of my story
Suddenly I feel the teardrops on my diary
With a weary voice, my heart replies
With every dream,my future dies.
This love story will not end the same.

Every tear I shed in his name
I realize how he is so far away
Without him life turns from red to grey.

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Rock Bottom

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I’ve my memories on remind
I can’t bare the thoughts my mind
is throwing, stealing peace of mind.
I take a step and instantly I take it back
My life is under attack
the vultures circling around my walls
they keep shooting the bullets
and my wall falls.

I hit rock bottom
some bullets, I’m glad I got ’em
I just want to end it
this war is tempted to throttle me
the world is collapsing beneath my feet
But I know and I believe
that the only person
who can get me back on the surface
is myself.

 

Rock Bottom Has Built More Heroes Than Privilege.

 

Crying On the Bathroom Floor

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We just walk through the night
Everything is so bright
Can’t see the dance floor
It’s wall to wall people dancing
To the music we go crazy
And things seem so hazy.
I saw you there and I broke down.
You’re cold as ice but it feels like fire
Even when you hurt me I go higher
And I go round and round
finding a corner
to gain back my composure.
I can’t get what my heart desires
My body is burning on fire.
My mind is in a great war
 I’m crying on the bathroom floor.
These walls suffocating me
My eyes become so blurry
why these voices suddenly become so dreary?

 

As I fall on the floor crying
I think about us once smiling,
Now you have left me with heartbreak
I lose all control and my body aches. 
I’m no more crying on the bathroom floor,
I’m walking towards the door,
I’m moving forward
I’ve been enough tortured.

 

I once missed the chance to live
thinking you’re everything I ever need
But I was wrong
Now I’m living with every beat!

When I’m Gone.

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When my journey comes to an end
And I travel my last blissful mile
Just don’t miss me so much friend
Just forget if you can,that I ever frowned
And remember only the smile.

 

Forget all those harsh words I had spoken
Remember some good deeds I had done
Forget that I ever had a heartache
And remember I had loads of fun.

 

Forget I ever stumbled and fall
Just remember I always was strong
And remember I fought
Some hard battles and won
And I was my own fight song.

 

You will find me in those winds
In the calmness of the night
In those flickering street lights
I’ll be in twinkle of the stars
And I’ll be the music playing through guitars.

 

Always try to hear those whispers
I would be there guiding you
If you ever get lost along the way
I’ll be there as the sun’s ray
I’ll be there dancing in chilly winds in winter.

 

And do come to meet me
When the sun would paint the sky
Stand for a few moments beside me
And remember only my best.

Dark Side.

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I didn’t knew how strong I was
until the darkness came to me
leaving me blinded and unfree.
It took my childhood away in a blink
There was not a moment left to think.
Felt suffocated in my own skin
It strangled me from within
The days were full of agony
I just wanted to end reality.
But it took me some time to realize
how to be strong and be alive.
I made my purpose, got up again

The strength I possess will never go in vain.
I learned to smile and love
HE showed me the way from above.
Do not mistake my misery
I’ve found my final liberty.
Being strong is all I know
My motto is to always grow.
I live with a dark side
I love myself with pride.

 

I am built from every mistake I have ever made.

 

Walking In Solitude.

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When she feels weary and down,
Feeling a deluge of negative emotions,
She takes a walk in Cape Town
And everything seems in slow motion.
When her thoughts become deep as an ocean
When her heart can think of no devotion.
That’s when she walks in nature
Finally finding her cure.
Reflecting silence in moors and hills
With gratitude and tranquil her heart fills.
Her solitude comes in twilight
Lover of the shadows in moonlight.
Her soul feels wide awake
She feels a part of nature
As she finds her peace in walking.

Bloom

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Some of you care
I know it
I haven’t forgotten
That your light for me
is still lit.
Some of you care
But none of you cared enough.
So when nobody was there
And the nights were like poison
the toxic filling my lungs
I made Him my reason
And from the dead a new me reborn.
HE is my savior
The symphony of nature
My purity and my danger.
HE made me discover
Who I was.
I was fierce
And strong,
And full of fire.
I know where I belong
I am the roses,
Proud of the thorns,
And I bloom even in the storms.

 

Whispering Winds

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I want to ask you
What it feels like to be numb?
Can you see me what I’ve become?
Helpless and tired with the outcome
Walking with no destination
See I am in vulnerable position
Only dreams are my last hope
Not holding on that same rope
I just want to let it go
I’ve learned my lesson
You can’t reach what’s in front
Until you let go of what’s behind
I’m holding on to you wind!
Whisper to my ears
All the things I wanna hear
Stories of strangers
Colors of cultures
And those places never been heard.

I feel the winds whispering
It’s okay to be suffering
Let me take you there
Where dreams come true.
Everything was so brand new.
I forgot everything
only remembering
that I was here.

Visiting Yesterday

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Visiting yesterday
I thought about it
When I said I won’t leave
I stayed through thick and thin
You kept me in deceive
Without doubt I let you in
At midnight, I lied
That I’m not sleepy
Just to be with you
Trust was never denied
And I cried
Because when it came to me
You never showed up
You left in peace

Left me in pieces
didn’t think for once.
Visiting yesterday
I realized the truth
You meant to me
But I nothing meant to you.

Nothing lasts forever.

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There is an ocean of silence
There is a depth of pain
There is a bunch of feelings
And he is drowning in it.
Some days are filled with dejection
He is longing for her affection
At times death is the only way
A forlorn attempt to escape
He so much desired for her stay
Now he in darkness just suffocate.
But death is never the answer
Let the death be of your pain and past
See in the dark, a burning lantern
Not all the time everything last.