Empty

 

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This emptiness is travelling in all parts of me
So lost I feel, my hearts naive.
Unaware of what I want, and where I meant to be.
For what should I hope for 
What’s between right and wrong?
Where to go what to choose?
All the questions and thoughts
Now drowns me in its depths.
This empty feeling makes me feel
Absurd and vulnerable.
Life seems to be so dark and vicious 
And I think will I ever be loved
Just the way I am, because it’s difficult
to even for me to love myself.

This empty feeling makes me so scared.

 

Sometimes it surprises me that how unexpectedly my mind works. The moment of emptiness suddenly comes to me when I am totally normal and happy. It strikes me when I am with my friends or at night while I’m trying to sleep. It just leaves me in total darkness where I am unable to reach the light. It always makes me defenceless and desolate. I hate that feeling when I’m here, but I’m not. Like I should be grateful for all the things I have, But I’m not. There is nothing but emptiness and numbness that is left in me. But I won’t let it destroy me or take me away. So I decided I would fill the emptiness in me with the love of God and with my pen. 

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Back in the Middle

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She is drowning in uncertainty 
Every effort fails there is no way to sail.
She glances at both the ends 
But no one familiar, things so subtle here
She moves along the path
expecting to come near the end of freedom
But the truth is, life always keep
bringing her back in the middle.

 

Ciao Adios

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Looking at the moon
underneath the stars
I didn’t say a word
but they understood
the beating of my heart.
He told me nothing
but I knew everything.

As I laid down
My heart did all the talking
Mind did all the thinking,
Of that very moment
when I met him.
I was at that point
Where I stopped dreaming,
stopped believing in love
surrounded by chaos inevitable

I can’t thank him enough
To give me my passion,
in which my heart burned.

I didn’t want to fail
In my eyes, so I
Brave enough freed by love.
As they say, true love never dies.
And this love will be here
till forever ends.
And I, with my delicate heart
Bid him my last goodbye,
From every thought, every memory,
Every moment, every hope.

I let him be, and I let him love,
Who he wants to love.
And with every success,
That comes in his way
Of all he did, And in all, he believes.
I will be smiling with pride.
Even the Universe cherishes and admires,

the love I always had, have, and will, for him.

Sometimes some love stories do not have a happy ending. You love someone and you can’t say it to them because there are certain things you don’t wanna mess with.
You fall into this one-sided love, accept that you won’t be able to have them in your life. It’s not easy but with time you comprehend that love is a greater force and it’s more than just an emotion. We move on and we know we’re gonna carry this love in our hearts forever.

As ELIF SHAFAK said in his book, The Forty Rules of Love: “Where there is love, there is bound to be heartache.”

“Where there is love, there is bound to be heartache.”

Delicate

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He came and my world flipped.
He said he was in love with me
And I so young, fall for him foolishly
I wasn’t thinking too much,
I longed for this kinda fairytale love!
I wish I could tell my 14-year-old self
Love wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

That’s when it hit me,
I realized how naive I had been
To think I had fallen for him.
He was never the one,
In course of my reality.
I think I just wanted someone
Who could fit the part.
And bring solace to my heart.

 

Suddenly I got lost in him,
And the things he said to me,
made me want to hear him more.
A desire to talk to him more.
How much I adored those moments
which now have faded into a place
I never would want to go.
I had my own love story.
Back then, I was proud to have one.

 

All of our needs and fantasies
We thought it could happen in reality.
But we got it all wrong.
We think it’s something to find out there,
A perfect match just like in fairy tales.
But love was never him.
And when now, I think about it
It makes me feel so dumb.

 

He said I was beautiful,
But he never told me how strong I was,
He never listened what my heart-felt,
like it didn’t matter to him at all.
He never tried to know me.
He just kept saying how much he loves me.
And it was not enough, I realized.

 

One year later:
She looked in the mirror
And she could see the most beautiful woman.
She turned her weakness into strengths
She was brave and full of love.
And this time,
She didn’t need anybody to tell her that.

 

We could never love someone
Until we learn
how to love ourselves.

 

Honestly, Love is delicate. Sometimes it’s different from the movies or books we read. Everyone has its own personal definition of love. When you really feel it, the world comes into focus. You have to be careful while deciding if you’re really in love with someone. Because I know that feeling when you are wrong about it. It hurts very much, and you completely fall apart. Listen to your heart and nothing else. It will guide you rightly.

As APRIL GREEN said: For me — falling in love is about meeting someone who helps me fall in love with myself.

Blinded

 

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I make myself through the door
a large space with a dusty floor
I sit on my top spot
which I’m very fond of.
I hear some voices from across
elated applauses and smell like alcohol
I feel cool breeze touching my skin
I never witnessed something this splendid
The clouds look so fleecy

My heart is feeling extraordinary
Nothing can stop me
to picture this exquisite scenery
My eyes can see only darkness
but the world isn’t artless
My grandma once said to me
Imagination is the key.

 

If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all. 

John Green

.Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

HE is Enough.

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When I look up at the sky
I feel some tears from my eyes.

All His creations
remind me of His existence.
He made the moon and the stars
who tell me how to fight
with the demons that come out at night
I hope He’s proud of me
As I walk strong even in storms.
He dwindles my darkness
regardless of my faults.
Without Him I can’t find peace
in silence
the words are futile
if I can’t feel His love
in the rhythm of my heart.

Oblivion

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I lay down in bed
finally at my escape
but I am afraid
A monster conceived
heart’s naive
feeling so restless
My body trembling.
This pain is unendurable
I try to scream but the voice
has gone away.
I clutch my pillow tight
praying I’ll make it tonight.
I stand still clueless
I don’t know if I can do this.
I keep forgetting
being defenceless.
As the monsters
turnin’ my life a disaster.

A Troubled Land

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I have been the one in a box
coming out, going back in always
I don’t know how to trace the dots.

I have been acquainted with this land
No honor or truth just lies so brutal
Hearts so bleak and empty minds.

I have been interrupted with fights
All days and even some nights I cried
And I would end up searching the light.

I have been the one sturdy enough
Time is running quicker than the clouds
I lose myself and finding self is tough.

Neither I was wrong nor my heart
It sung the song of innocence.
But no more, it’s now tormented
and falling apart.

I have been acquainted with this land
Who doesn’t see the time or the age.

Fading Out

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With every breath you take
I see you fading away.
You’ll be gone but what about my heart?
I’m still young to be this hurt
You can’t even witness this pain
I know definitely that I’m ruined.
You are the sugar to my coffee.
The music to my soul
but this all seems so wrong,
in your arms is where I don’t belong.
I’m breaking in two. What should I do?
I’m so afraid of losing the only love that I have.
And I can see the memories,
slowly fading from my mind.

 

“I knew it was a risk, but loving you was as easy as breathing.”

___ Sarah Doughty

Why can’t you love me back?

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I am sitting near the ocean
what I do with all the emotions?

I can’t find the solution
the love, for which my heart is exploding.
So many questions my mind is asking.
Why can’t you love me back?
Why are you not the path,
on which I want to walk?
I see myself with brooding eyes
I can see the loss etched,
when every hope dies.
Sometimes I wish to hear your voice
My heart longs to see your dreamy smile.
But No, you are not the one!
We can’t control the destiny
which has been already written.
And my heart understands for some months
But then it all comes back
I stop then, to mend the cracks.

 

 

I have questions that keep bouncing back
Why can’t you love me back?
Why can’t we rewrite the destiny?
Why you play, even a role, in my story?
I am waiting for your love so desperately.
Not having your love is like,
living in a world without colors.
Why can’t you love me back?
Because all the things I did
to lock my feelings in, gone wasted
just when I saw you laugh again.